Anthropologie swoon

So far there seems to be three main themes here:
-my baby
-not dissertating
-Anthropologie.

Just got another damn e-mail from them today. I am so in lust with this dress. I can see it dressed up or down, depending on the shoes and accessories. Yes, it is my standard gray hue, but I have some purple Seychelles platform sandals that would rock this dress. Sigh. I feel so lame, but they really are right. It is the perfect dress. One I see myself wearing over and over again.

Oh dress, let me count all the ways in which I love thee . . .

I love my family

People who blog on a regular basis must have a lot of time on their hands. I'm constantly thinking of things I want to jot down, record or capture, but given my short attention span these days, if I don't do it right then and there, the idea or moment escapes me. I guess you have to make it a priority. But then again, my priorities have changed - it's pretty much all about the fam these days. I love this little family we've got - when I think about expanding it, I don't know that I could give more love than I am. People always tell me you feel that way until you have the second, and you realize then that your capacity for love is never ending. We'll see . . . .

The Noodle now has close to four teeth with another on the way! I can't believe it (neither can my nipples, lol)! My favorite moment in the day is when Eli brings him to me in the morning and we all get back into bed, where Noodle nurses and then proceeds to babble loudly once he's done. Interspersed in his babble is some version of "Mama" and "Dada".

This life is not always easy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

Not dissertating . . .

Blech. The sun has been shining, it's a balmy 40s - mounds of snow and ice are crashing off the roof (scares the crap out of me every single time). The Noo is with his grandma. Why am I not getting any work done? Perhaps I should revisit the little pep talk I gave myself last week when I first decided to get back on the bandwagon.

Hey, self:

1. For each Monday, Wednesday and Friday, set small tangible goals for yourself. Know that
some days will be more productive than others.

2. Try and write a little each day. Even if all you accomplish is one single-spaced page – each
of those pages will add up – they will amount to something. Don’t worry. On the days when
you just can’t write, cut yourself some slack. The point is that you are here. Trying and
confronting – doing.

3. Be proud of yourself. For being here. For being who you are. For all that you have
accomplished thus far in life, and all that you are about to realize.

To which Tiff added:

4. "Be gentle with yourself. If a few days don't go the way you plan, don't beat yourself up over it. Trust that you are in the process of doing what you need to do to finish and greet each day as new beginnings.

5. Treat yourself for your progress. You have to pour a lot of personal energy into this project and you're right, it's personal... so make sure you keep refilling that energy by allowing yourself to do things that bring you joy. Spend $5 on some beautiful beads to make earrings that you love. Or take a walk to a coffee shop and treat yourself to a delicious drink without feeling guilty for not being either at work or at home with noodle. Or spend an hour in a fabric store or clothing store just admiring all of the beautiful things and getting ideas for things you could make at home. It is important that you keep yourself well so that you can continue to put the best that you have into your work".

Thanks, Tiff. I guess today is just one of those off days. All I really want to do is bake cookies with my friend Emie. Which I will do in a short bit. Yay!

On Facebook, Eli is a member of this group called My wife makes me cookies. He posted this on a thread: "Also, luckily she said she will now bake when she is stressed. so, i guess its a double-edged sword. cookies/stress banana bread/stress. oh yeah, a triple edged sword, like a sabre--fatness and largesse (one WIDE EDGE)". It made me laugh - like shoulders moving up and down, deep belly laugh. Those are good.

Malia, Sasha and their Grandma

Nathaniel is back to his 2 naps a day, after a scary nap strike. Of course I am officially addicted to blogging now. We'll see how long this lasts - according to this therapist I saw recently (and have not gone back to since), I have trouble following through with things in my life. I told her I was struggling to finish my dissertation, so of course she generalized that inability to complete to my entire life. Sigh, enough about awful therapists.

Much has been written about Malia and Sasha - how much they will change the landscape of the White House, etc., but I just have to say that whenever I see pictures of these beautiful, adorable, sweet, seemingly incredibly well-adjusted little girls, my heart just about bursts with love and joy - almost the love I feel for Nathaniel. I can't really put it in words.

What heartens me even more is the thought of their maternal grandmother living with them - loving and nurturing them. How wonderful is that? While my relationship with my mother is complex and not always peachy keen, those feelings are often eclipsed by my knowledge of the love she has for her grandson. It breaks my heart to hear the yearning in her voice and all the hopes and dreams she has for Nathaniel from thousands of miles away. This article from the NYT brought a tear to my eyes Mother Moving In? Things with my mother-in-law aren't always hunky-dory, but I can't stress enough how helpful and great she is with Nathaniel. Living with your extended family is a pretty common practice in Asia which is not without tension and complication, but knowing that the girls are in that big ol' house under the watchful eye of Marian Robinson makes me sleep a little bit better, given how I worry about all the harm that could come to this beautiful, young First Family. Yay for love and family.

Recent Anthropologie finds

Many of you know about my obsession with Anthropologie. I know - you'd think I'd be a little more savvy about where I shop, given all the market research that's been done about people who shop at Anthropologie (just Google it, pretty nutty) - yes, they essentially have me all figured out. I know the clothes are often ridiculously marked up and pretty hit and miss (some downright hideous), but I have a weakness for the store and I get mad when Eli tries to throw out the catalogues. Especially the store displays - now those people are GENIUS. Apparently the typical Anthro shopper spends 80 minutes in the store. On my last visit, sans the boys, I think I may have spent about 120 minutes, mostly because I had a $125 gift card from Christmas (thanks, bro!) in my sweaty, little hands and I had to make sure I was getting what I really wanted (too much buyer's remorse lately, that is, when I actually have $). Here's what I ended up getting, after 120 minutes in the store.

The Andesite Cardi (in heather gray)

I know, very predictable - my usual drapey look and gasp . . . GRAY! But I like it, I think. Anyway, I'm not sure why the sleeves are 3/4 length especially in the dead of winter, but I wear it anyway. But my best purchase ever at Anthro (which is currently hanging in my closet because it is even more weather inappropriate than the cardi) has to be this coat:

Eastern Flyaway Coat

I saw this lovely number all by it's lonesome on a sale rack jammed in with a bunch of hideously frumpy plaid coats. The original price of this coat was $228 (eye roll) and the sale price was scrawled in red pen on the price tag. After spending a few minutes staring at the illegible chicken scratch, I asked one of the harried salespeople and she said $49.95. Whaaaat??!! So I thought, this is worth trying on no? I noticed it was a size 0 - haven't done one of those in a while, but lo and behold, in the dressing room it fit (thank you Nathaniel for continuing to breastfeed)! So I am all excited and smug about my good find and take it up to the register. Imagine my disbelief when it scans in at $149.95. Um, noookay. So we both decided that it clearly said 49.95 in the red chicken scratch, but she couldn't even find it online because it was sold out so she calls the manager over who tells her to override it and sell it to me for 50 bucks! Yay, score, although I hope the chicken scratcher will not be penalized for forgetting that oh so important digit in front of the four. I am such a gleeful consumer, even as I'm writing this I am getting excited. Sigh. Now here's how I'd like to wear it (in Lotus Clouds world):

Replace model with me, on a romantic getaway aboard the Orient Express

In reality, I'll be wearing it pushing the baby in the stroller when it's a little warmer out, trying to look like a chic mom in Harvard Square, or if I'm lucky, maybe on one of my date nights. Last but not least, my best Christmas present from the hubster (that I picked out and bought online) is this lovely and slouchy gray number at a very discounted rate ; ) It's my versatile purse/diaper/computer bag:

I don't actually use that long strap, but it's nice to know I have the option if need be.

You'd think I'd be Anthro'ed out after this, no? You no me better than that - although one of my New Year's resolutions is to practice fiscal restraint (not that I have a whole lot of choice in that area).

My most important project thus far: Nathaniel

I started this blog really as a creative outlet - a way for me to dream, imagine, vent, procrastinate and share with my friends and family both near and far. Also, Tiffany suggested that I start a journal so I guess here is my version. And I won't tell you how addicted to blogs I am - I have no idea who these people are, but I just want to be their bff. As most of you know, since moving to Cambridge, things have been a little rough for me- really for all of us. I've had very little time, energy or desire to be as creative as I want to be. Maybe I'll post some things I've made or been working on later when I have time . . . . I'm not always the best about calling, or even e-mailing, so unless you're on ichat all the time, I may not be in touch much, and I apologize for that. Stop by here and say hi or make fun of me when you get a chance!

Everything I've got is pretty much in this little guy. He's a handful, but so very worth it. To me, he is all the goodness in the world behind that easy, sweet, goofy grin and those large, hopeful and trusting eyes.

Many of you keep up with Nathaniel's goings-ons on Picasa Web (not always by choice, I know), but here's one of him in action - doing his "injured soldier" crawl (please excuse my inane chatter). I really want to phase out this posting on YouTube thing, because I feel icky about him being out there, but it's the easiest way tech-wise for my mother to see her grandson and Eli says no one will watch it. . . . Posting it on the blog takes forever, but I will figure it out one day.

Nathaniel Crawling

As some of you know, we don't have the most ideal kitchen set-up here - the spices were being kept at ground level, but they have since been stored in a clementines crate on an Odwalla shelf (don't ask) we use to store pots and pans. We thought we'd do this before he figured out how to unscrew the jar of cayenne pepper . . . .

Before: easy access for one and all - all gone!




After: I know, isn't this fascinating??!!

Aah, the incredibly intriguing and enigmatic life I lead. Who knew? I know this will be a daily stop for you on the www and a must-read. I leave you for now with this prayer for our new president. It moved me to tears. It also makes me want to take a trip up to New Hampshire and listen to a sermon. I have never been moved to attend church . . . .

A Prayer for the Nation and Our Next President, Barack Obama

By The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire

Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin,

but first, please join me in pausing for a

moment, to ask God's blessing upon our nation and

our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you willŠ

Bless us with tears - for a world in which over a

billion people exist on less than a dollar a day,

where young women from many lands are beaten and

raped for wanting an education, and thousands die

daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger - at discrimination, at home

and abroad, against refugees and immigrants,

women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual

and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort - at the easy,

simplistic "answers" we've preferred to hear from

our politicians, instead of the truth, about

ourselves and the world, which we need to face if

we are going to rise to the challenges of the

future.

Bless us with patience - and the knowledge that

none of what ails us will be "fixed" anytime

soon, and the understanding that our new

president is a human being, not a messiah.

Bless us with humility - open to understanding

that our own needs must always be balanced with

those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance -

replacing it with a genuine respect and warm

embrace of our differences, and an understanding

that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity -

remembering that every religion's God judges us

by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the

human community, whether across town or across

the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child

Barack, as he assumes the office of President of

the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him

with Lincoln's reconciling leadership style,

President Kennedy's ability to enlist our best

efforts, and Dr. King's dream of a nation for ALL

the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State

needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be

inspired and motivated to make the personal and

common sacrifices necessary to facing the

challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own

words that under his leadership, there will be

neither red nor blue states, but the United

States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a

minority, drawing on that experience of

discrimination, that he might seek to change the

lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and

privacy, and help him remember that even though

he is president, a father only gets one shot at

his daughters' childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask

too much of our presidents, and we're asking FAR

too much of this one. We know the risk he and his

wife are taking for all of us, and we implore

you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold

him in the palm of your hand - that he might do

the work we have called him to do, that he might

find joy in this impossible calling, and that in

the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place

of integrity, prosperity and peace. AMEN.