Harvest, Bake, Harvest

On Saturday we had a few people come over to plant some seeds in our vegetable garden. Our vegetable plot is currently taken up by 8 rhubarb plants. There are a few tendrils of lettuce coming out of the dirt and rampant scallions growing everywhere in patches, including the flower garden. There are these huge leaves on the rhubarb stalks, which I learned are toxic! That factoid makes the rhubarb slightly mysterious and dangerous in my eyes.






After chopping off the huge fans of leaves and rinsing of the dirt, I was left with beautiful stalks of pink-tinged green. After much chopping and copious amounts of sugar and butter, there was the most beautiful and satisfying rhubarb crumble (thinking of you, L).




I have a friend who will not allow her son to play in dirt - in the meantime, the Noo is constantly dirty and dusty from crawling and rolling. In the beginning I tried harder, but now I just make sure I get the little rocks and tree barks out of his mouth and that he doesn't pull the plants or flowers.

Speaking of plants - the most fragrant and beautiful lilac bushes are on the side of the house. They make me so happy. These and the peonies that will bloom any day now . . . . Friends, please come visit!

Happy Spring!

Hard to believe that in a few months I'll have been here for a year. At a bbq yesterday, I met a woman who moved here from NYC two years ago - she said she still tells people she moved here recently. While there are still days when I am unhappy about being here, weekends filled with sunshine, warmth, friends and good people do help. That a little Noo who likes to roll around in the dirt. I take him to the play ground and he likes to lie on his stomach like he's swimming and brush away all the wood chips and then scratch his fingers through the dirt. I caved in - there is no use. We have a big backyard, so we might as well take advantage of that and let him be. Guess it's time for daily baths.

The backyard makes me very, very happy. I'm sad that my late FIL is not here to share this time with us, but I'm convinced that he's there when the Noo is crawling around, trying with all his might not to pick/crush the flowers. Yesterday we had people over to do some yard work as part of the cooperative we have started. Next week are planting the seedlings we started in basement - tomatoes, kale, etc. The rhubarb my FIL planted is already ginormous - guess I'll have to learn to make rhubarb pie!

The flowers are sight to behold and most of them haven't even come up yet!

Taking a sewing class was a great idea. Although I'm just starting out, it's been a great way to relieve stress and be crafty - much better then watching crap tv (especially now that we have said goodbye to our cable). It's definitely not as easy as it looks, but not entirely scary either. My next project is going to be a convertible dress that involves one seam! I'm skeptical - we'll see. I think I'll try to spin out a few more of these little bags so the insides start looking a little more polished.

Hard to believe . . . .

The Noo is turning 1 in a few weeks! I really can't believe it. He is already his own person with his jokes, persistence, refusal to have us show him how to do things. In the beginning I had a hard time visualizing him as anything but a little, helpless warm . . . loaf. Of course we are throwing him a birthday party of which he will remember NOTHING, but we really just want to have an excuse to have our friends over to enjoy and celebrate spring (the rate at which things are bursting through a frenzy of spring showers is unbelievable and so, what's the word, hopeful). Of course I made the party invites - postcards I made on my trusty Gocco press.



The text turned out really well - very even application of ink - the stars not so much - very faded especially on the ends. But I actually like that, I guess - it lends a vintage appeal. The color of the paper is actually more of a light mustard/curry yellow - my latest color obsession. On the invites we stressed that people should not bring gifts - that's very important. Just bring libations so we can get rip roaring drunk (I know, very appropriate for a 1st birthday party, um guys . . . . where's the baby?) I also plan to have a pinata for the kids and adults who are kids at heart to attack - it will be filled with organic fruit lollipops, apples and clementines (this place is starting to have an effect on me), oh and what the hell, some gluten, nut, dairy-free something or another. On the menu - Asian fusion - thinking potstickers and cold sesame noodles and some kind of cucumber salad.

In other news, wrapping up my sewing class tonight. I sort of know how to sew now. Well, at least I know how to make a wristlet - which means I also know how to make a pencil case and make-up bag, sort of. Will post photos of the fruit of my labor later.

Looming over everything - the day to day, the fun, the creative, the yuck is of course the D. What a sad monster it's become. But I still chip away at it. A little a day (ok, more like every few days). My grad school compadres are leaving me behind in the dust. This must shock me to do something. Really.

Missing in action

My mind, body and spirit have been MIA the past few weeks ever since I had the audacity to stay up past midnight and have TWO drinks on my birthday. Later that weekend the entire house was hit with the plague. On Mon. and Tues., my cold was so bad the husband had to leave for work late and stay late when he came home for lunch so that I could sleep away the incredibly persistent sinus headaches that hit me like a semi. Add on top of that a sick toddler (he's toddling around - not a baby anymore!!) who wanted to nurse around the clock like he was a newborn. Well at least I didn't have clogged ducts.
On top of that, the MIL was out-town for a whole two weeks visiting the newest addition to the clan (I am absolutely in love with my new niece!) In the beginning I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind (out of sheer panic at spending 24/7 with the boy), but it turned out to be not so bad, except for the week and a half I was out of commission. We went to playgroup one day - a most interesting experience; aside from the fact that all the children were white except for the Noo. It was also fascinating to see the range of development for infants around his age. There was another 10 month old trying with all his might to crawl and a 12 month old who wasn't crawling . . . . the nice thing was that no one seemed particularly concerned (at least not outwardly so, although I have to say I was a teensy bit only inwardly). Of course the other day one of E's colleagues made him feel bad (and then he felt bad about feeling bad) when she asked the Noo to give her five and then he stared at her blankly and she said "All babies know how to give you five" (eyeroll).
There was one toy that scared the bejezus out of the boy - a plastic toy with different shaped holes that made a weird wheezing sound when you inserted a block with the corresponding shape - it made him launch into a full-on cry! Pobre! He's not even really a baby anymore and that makes me incredibly happy and sad at the same time.

I love my friends

On Friday I came home after a day of walking around downtown Boston by myself. It was nice - walking around the Common, chilly but sunny. The best part was darting in and out of stores, without having to worry about a little guy getting bored of looking at clothes (he really expresses himself these days when he's feeling disgruntled). The worst part was not having any $. I still managed to go to Sephora to get my free birthday lip gloss. They taste horrible - I hate lip products that taste/smell like artificial fruit. Blech. But they were free, so what are you gonna do.

When we got home, the hubster told me there was a package for me. He looked at me suspiciously like I'd ordered something for myself, which of course pissed me off. But I proceeded to feel much better when I opened it and discovered a lovely surprise from one of my bestest friends evah! An early birthday present in the form of a lovely handmade dahlia mug:

Here it is, holding my morning chai latte fix. This lovely mug and my trusty frother make me very happy. Ah, the simple pleasures of life. I feel very blessed to have friends who understand me. And here's the Noo looking perplexed - he's trying to figure out why his mother was taking pictures of an inanimate object instead of him. This is his sullen supermodel look.

I dread the next two weeks - I am going to be hanging out with the boy with no help from the MIL as she will be off in Portland, OR, eagerly anticipating the arrival of her second grandchild (very exciting of course - Noo will have a cousin, we will have a niece)! I am trying to figure out how to keep busy and sane. I have to remind myself that moms do this all the time, with very little support and I can do this, too. I have been very lucky with having the MIL around . . . . Must call J to see how she is doing it in Utah and by herself!!

Why Cambridge may be getting off my shit list

We had a great weekend - incredible spring-like weather, took the boy out for walks and to play on the baby swing - he was giddy and besides himself. He does this thing where instead of exhaling when he laughs, he inhales - it cracks everyone up. Of course today it snowed sideways, pelleted and rained. But it's ok, all is forgiven. I no longer hate Cambridge because over the weekend we discussed amazing and relatively cheap Mexican food down the street from us. We'd heard great things about this place, Tacos Lupita, but I figured it was great by Cambridge standards, certainly not Chicago. OMFG. When the tacos came out and I bit into the soft, warm, FRESH corn tortillas, I almost wept with joy. Just thinking about it makes me smile. Of course there would be nothing for me if I were a vegetarian - not a gringo burrito in sight. Pretty sure the beans were swimming in lard (the boy lapped those up - he was actually smacking his lips). The hubster smiled as he was eating and said, "We are going to be alright." It's true. We will be.

Every year when my birthday rolls around, I keep thinking how great it is that I was born on the first day of spring. Of course it hasn't mean a whole lot for the past decade or so I've spent
living in the Midwest. I don't think it'll mean much this year, but one can only hope. Especially when I have this dress to wear:

Of course by the time I got to it, my size was gone. So it is getting altered, but I heart it so, it's worth it. It's completely out of my usual neutral color palette, but so cool in a modern "ethnic" way, a more subdued take of the Chinese embroidery jackets I used to wear in college with Doc Martens (when I thought I was so badass). I think the color is versatile enough - it's bright - so I can make it summery or autumnal with different accessories. Might work with some skinny jeans now, since it's pretty short. The hubster splurged on it, but I rationalized it based on how many times I will wear it in the next few months (my b-day, nathaniel's b-day, a wedding in may, eli's birthday, LOL).

Great online mag N.E.E.T.

(image courtesy of Creature Comforts)

Found out about this magazine through my one of my blog crushes, Creature Comforts. The pretty things are all handmade and the spreads, illustrations, everything is pretty amazing. Of course it just has me further obsessed with Etsy.

I've run myself pretty ragged these days, between recurring clogged ducts (I fear I may have low, ongoing mastisis) and an extremely active child who is "on" as soon as as he gets up, I think I've run myself ragged. I've got the achy feeling, my glands are swollen, the MIL just came to get the wild child so I am thinking I will crawl back into bed with a cup of lemon ginger tea and "flip" through the magazine.

Bringing the rusty brain out of the closet and crankin' it up

Yesterday I went to MIT and interviewed for a job! Then I got the job! Albeit it's a temporary job, but at least I'll be doing something intellectually productive for the next two months or so and get paid for it. I will be interviewing Asian American faculty at MIT on issues of race and diversity as part of a larger study pushed by the Provost, after MIT got some very bad press when an African American faculty did not get tenure and went on a hunger strike. Interestingly, Asian American faculty were not initially considered in the pool of interviewees as they are not a underrepresented minority in terms of MIT faculty (or students for that matter). However, people in the administration have since complained that if the study only focuses on the views and experiences of underrepresented minority faculty, no one will listen to it . . . (eye roll). So now my friend, who is a visiting scholar at MIT called upon to design this study (the institute's not so nuanced understanding of race has been driving her bonkers) has been called upon to interview both White and Asian American faculty. So that's where I come in - the Institute wants an interviewer-interviewee match (I mean, we won't talk about how silly that really is, considering that some of the faculty are probably South Asian and may not even identify as Asian American, etc.). But I am excited by this work, maybe it will get me excited about my own work again. The best part is, I will get paid, and who knows what this could lead to . . . . .

For the first few minutes of the interview, I had the hardest time getting my words out. I was so flustered - haven't talked about my own research in what seemed like years, let alone my "style as an interviewer". I mean, most of my chatter amounts these days amounts to, "Nathaniel, don't do that" or "Nathaniel, come to Mama!" So I am excited for a plethora of reasons - I even went out and got a pair of "professional" pants since my clothes are all just falling off of me!

crafting bug

Yay! I sold my first pair of earrings on Etsy! Of course they were purchased by a very dear and supportive friend for her sister-in-law. Oh well, I guess we all have to start somewhere. Perhaps the young lady will wear them and her friends will ask her about the earrings . . . .

I've decided if I don't have the energy or desire to work on the D when the Noo goes to bed, then I'm going to be productive in other ways - which means no TV! A friend of E's and his partner are having a baby in March - today we are going to their shower. He's a sex ed educator and she's a yoga teacher. He has a son and daughter by two different women - we're all secretly (and not so secretly) that the third times the charm. Interestingly they have asked for their baby gifts to be second hand when possible. I truly respect that - I wish I had it in me. I have purchased some really great gently used clothing for the boy, but I guess the consumer/first time mommy in me always wants the latest and the "best" for him. I try to rationalize certain purchases for him by telling myself those items will be passed on, which is pretty legit, considering we know at least 3 couples who are having babies in the next few months.

The couple whose shower we are attending today are opting for g diapers, reusable cloth diapers with flushable/biodegradable inserts, so we got them a pack of the inserts, an extra copy of Good Night Moon we have lying around and a gently used little cotton shirt. However, what I'm hoping they'll love the most is the card I made for them:

I used patterned paper and then sewed in little details for the legs, nest, wings, and leaves. Next time I'm going to try it with some fabric scraps - when I can get my hands on some (which should be soon - the MIL gave me sewing classes for my birthday (which I really wanted, but can't afford). Anyway, I love how it turned out - I think it's just darlin'. One of my goals is to stop buying cards for family and friends and try to make them as often as possible. I still am a sucker for beautiful letterpress cards though. Aaah letterpress . . . . don't get me started!

melt/breakdown

Yesterday was a very, very bad day - for all parties involved. For the past few weeks, the boy has been pulling himself up - everything - chairs, tables, people - everything is something to be explored and conquered. That's all fine and dandy - it shows that he's thriving, growing, hitting developmental milestones, blah blah blah. What I'm not digging is the pulling up in the crib. He pulls up and then just stands there and cries or yells until I show up - he's not horizontal, so there's no way he could accidentally fall asleep or gasp, put himself to sleep. It involves me picking him up and putting him back down - rubbing of the back and vigorous patting of the butt (it gets real vigorous by the 3rd time I go in). Yesterday we hit an all time high of one hour. It took me 57 minutes to put him down. I had to call the hubster to tell him that I was this close to shaking the boy. It was bad, the rage and steam coming out of the ears, the worry, all of it. I mean the boy was tired, rubbing his eyes out, grinding his head into the mattress, but stubborn as all hell. I was supposed to meet people for lunch but decided against it - he needed his sleep, since his afternoon naps have all but dissolved.

Just as I'm doing some deep breathing exercises, the little sweet boy WAKES UP. That's half an hour later!! But I took it all in stride - we'll go out for lunch. Of course he was the perfect little charmster at lunch, and when we all got up to leave, he started rubbing his eyes. Oh, great - we have a nice little walk to get home and then he'll fall asleep on his way home. No, not on the way, not once we got home. Fussy as all hell, but not sleeping. And that is when I started crying and called the hubster with the very subtle code "COME HOME NOW!" He was home within 10 minutes (bless his heart) and whisked the boy away and told me to sleep, which I gladly did for two hours.

During the two hours I am knocked out, the m-i-l comes over - they're all hanging out downstairs so I can sleep. Very thoughtful. In the two minutes E comes up to check on me, the little guy falls over and cuts his face on the stove. He's fine, I'm fine, we're all fine, but C'MON, lady, really?!! I know accidents happen, but c'mon. He's lucky he didn't poke his eye out. SHE'S lucky. Anyway, I was too tired to be whatever. And I have a free babysitter, and accidents happen. So enough about that.

I sat down at 10:00 this morning to start writing this. Last night I had the brilliant idea of putting him in his sleep sack for his nap - it restricts his movement (poor thing). So this morning, we nursed, then got in the sleep sack and put him down. Some crying for 5 minutes then some loud complaining and at 10:12 - silence. Out. Success. It really is all about learning by doing. I'll give LS that much - they were right about that.

By the way, no one is laughing, people:

There are no words to describe my disgust and sadness.

Happy Love Day!

Last night we went out on a date. A sushi restaurant - we haven't had any sushi since we moved to to the Bridge. It was nice to get away for a few hours and be able to have some adult convo and check in with each other. We left dinner feeling like we are both happy with the life we have carved out for ourselves. Noodle is such a big part of our lives now, it's important for us to remember us. There is a lot of stress involving money, debt, etc. but I feel like we have a strong foundation. So good convo and touching base, good sushi, ridiculous bill for dinner. Sushi is definitely more expensive here than in Chicago. Let's just say we won't be eating out for the rest of the month.

I had Noodle with me for most of the week - the mother-in-law wasn't very available. Then a play date canceled - so I had a moment of panic, but really, it's not so bad anymore. He's a lot of work, but the joy he expresses and creates overrides the work (mostly). While he took a good long nap in the morning, I made a Valentine's Day present for the hubster. Cheesy, but it's me, and it's him.

I printed the photos on photo printer and stuck it on a mini canvas. Then I shellacked it with a coat of PVA. I like the effect of the PVA - I'll have to play around with it some more. I think I'm constantly struck by how much has happened to me in the past few years, and how much as happened to us. So I think I'm always trying to find ways to "document" it somehow, for lack of a better word. Sometimes I can't believe I'm married, much less with a little family of my own. I guess this is my way of pinching myself. I also got him this book I Like You - everyone needs this book.

It is a small gesture, cute but I think incredibly meaningful as well. It made me laugh out loud as well. Some of my favorite lines are:

I like you because if I think I am going to throw up
then you are really sorry

You don't just pretend you are busy looking at
the birdies and all that

You say maybe it was something you ate

You say the same thing happened to me sometime

And the same thing did

It made me a little teary-eyed, too. But then again, what doesn't?

In the afternoon I tried to put the boy down for a nap. All three times he refused to got to sleep. Before he would just cry and cry. Now he does this. This is what he looks like when I come in his room:

The bordering seething rage I sometimes feel when he won't go down for a nap all but dissolves when I see him teetering in his crib with no pants on, giddy with love for his mama. Yes, it's time to lower the crib.

So he finally convinced me he just wasn't going to take an afternoon nap, even though he was rubbing his eyes like crazy. So he sat in his Svan and ate his Mum Mum and watched me make these:

Happy Valentine's Day, friends. I love you all.

I am now an Etsy-er!

What a wonderful week I had in Chicago, visiting with friends, eating good Mexican and Thai food, and going for a fun girls' night out viewing of He's Just Not that into You. I can still remember watching the male co-writer of the book on Oprah, dishing out "advice" to women with varied sordid dating lives, while thinking about my own sorry dating life or lack thereof. I miss Chicago, my life there and all the good people I know. It's all just so easy back there - everything here is two steps forward, one step back.

In an effort to get out of my funk, over the weekend I decided to officially join the wonderful and creative world of Etsy. I love all things handmade and regularly visit the shops to see what crafty and talented people are up to. Of course handmade is usually more expensive than mass produced, but after making a few necklaces and earrings here and there as gifts for friends, I've gained a new appreciation for the love, time and effort that goes into things handmade.

Although sparrows and owls and all things naturey circa 1970s are very in now, I have to say that I've always been drawn to sparrows, in spite of the city girl that I am. I made a pair of these earrings for Enid's birthday - they also happen to be my first item for sale on Etsy (thanks, Enid, for the stellar photography). If you're so inclined, check out my "store." Better yet, use it as an excuse to check out some truly amazing and covetable items made by some very talented people across the world.

Chicago, Chicago!

Woohoo!! Here I am, Chi-Town. I miss you so much. I cannot wait to see you and play with you!

Anthropologie swoon

So far there seems to be three main themes here:
-my baby
-not dissertating
-Anthropologie.

Just got another damn e-mail from them today. I am so in lust with this dress. I can see it dressed up or down, depending on the shoes and accessories. Yes, it is my standard gray hue, but I have some purple Seychelles platform sandals that would rock this dress. Sigh. I feel so lame, but they really are right. It is the perfect dress. One I see myself wearing over and over again.

Oh dress, let me count all the ways in which I love thee . . .

I love my family

People who blog on a regular basis must have a lot of time on their hands. I'm constantly thinking of things I want to jot down, record or capture, but given my short attention span these days, if I don't do it right then and there, the idea or moment escapes me. I guess you have to make it a priority. But then again, my priorities have changed - it's pretty much all about the fam these days. I love this little family we've got - when I think about expanding it, I don't know that I could give more love than I am. People always tell me you feel that way until you have the second, and you realize then that your capacity for love is never ending. We'll see . . . .

The Noodle now has close to four teeth with another on the way! I can't believe it (neither can my nipples, lol)! My favorite moment in the day is when Eli brings him to me in the morning and we all get back into bed, where Noodle nurses and then proceeds to babble loudly once he's done. Interspersed in his babble is some version of "Mama" and "Dada".

This life is not always easy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

Not dissertating . . .

Blech. The sun has been shining, it's a balmy 40s - mounds of snow and ice are crashing off the roof (scares the crap out of me every single time). The Noo is with his grandma. Why am I not getting any work done? Perhaps I should revisit the little pep talk I gave myself last week when I first decided to get back on the bandwagon.

Hey, self:

1. For each Monday, Wednesday and Friday, set small tangible goals for yourself. Know that
some days will be more productive than others.

2. Try and write a little each day. Even if all you accomplish is one single-spaced page – each
of those pages will add up – they will amount to something. Don’t worry. On the days when
you just can’t write, cut yourself some slack. The point is that you are here. Trying and
confronting – doing.

3. Be proud of yourself. For being here. For being who you are. For all that you have
accomplished thus far in life, and all that you are about to realize.

To which Tiff added:

4. "Be gentle with yourself. If a few days don't go the way you plan, don't beat yourself up over it. Trust that you are in the process of doing what you need to do to finish and greet each day as new beginnings.

5. Treat yourself for your progress. You have to pour a lot of personal energy into this project and you're right, it's personal... so make sure you keep refilling that energy by allowing yourself to do things that bring you joy. Spend $5 on some beautiful beads to make earrings that you love. Or take a walk to a coffee shop and treat yourself to a delicious drink without feeling guilty for not being either at work or at home with noodle. Or spend an hour in a fabric store or clothing store just admiring all of the beautiful things and getting ideas for things you could make at home. It is important that you keep yourself well so that you can continue to put the best that you have into your work".

Thanks, Tiff. I guess today is just one of those off days. All I really want to do is bake cookies with my friend Emie. Which I will do in a short bit. Yay!

On Facebook, Eli is a member of this group called My wife makes me cookies. He posted this on a thread: "Also, luckily she said she will now bake when she is stressed. so, i guess its a double-edged sword. cookies/stress banana bread/stress. oh yeah, a triple edged sword, like a sabre--fatness and largesse (one WIDE EDGE)". It made me laugh - like shoulders moving up and down, deep belly laugh. Those are good.

Malia, Sasha and their Grandma

Nathaniel is back to his 2 naps a day, after a scary nap strike. Of course I am officially addicted to blogging now. We'll see how long this lasts - according to this therapist I saw recently (and have not gone back to since), I have trouble following through with things in my life. I told her I was struggling to finish my dissertation, so of course she generalized that inability to complete to my entire life. Sigh, enough about awful therapists.

Much has been written about Malia and Sasha - how much they will change the landscape of the White House, etc., but I just have to say that whenever I see pictures of these beautiful, adorable, sweet, seemingly incredibly well-adjusted little girls, my heart just about bursts with love and joy - almost the love I feel for Nathaniel. I can't really put it in words.

What heartens me even more is the thought of their maternal grandmother living with them - loving and nurturing them. How wonderful is that? While my relationship with my mother is complex and not always peachy keen, those feelings are often eclipsed by my knowledge of the love she has for her grandson. It breaks my heart to hear the yearning in her voice and all the hopes and dreams she has for Nathaniel from thousands of miles away. This article from the NYT brought a tear to my eyes Mother Moving In? Things with my mother-in-law aren't always hunky-dory, but I can't stress enough how helpful and great she is with Nathaniel. Living with your extended family is a pretty common practice in Asia which is not without tension and complication, but knowing that the girls are in that big ol' house under the watchful eye of Marian Robinson makes me sleep a little bit better, given how I worry about all the harm that could come to this beautiful, young First Family. Yay for love and family.

Recent Anthropologie finds

Many of you know about my obsession with Anthropologie. I know - you'd think I'd be a little more savvy about where I shop, given all the market research that's been done about people who shop at Anthropologie (just Google it, pretty nutty) - yes, they essentially have me all figured out. I know the clothes are often ridiculously marked up and pretty hit and miss (some downright hideous), but I have a weakness for the store and I get mad when Eli tries to throw out the catalogues. Especially the store displays - now those people are GENIUS. Apparently the typical Anthro shopper spends 80 minutes in the store. On my last visit, sans the boys, I think I may have spent about 120 minutes, mostly because I had a $125 gift card from Christmas (thanks, bro!) in my sweaty, little hands and I had to make sure I was getting what I really wanted (too much buyer's remorse lately, that is, when I actually have $). Here's what I ended up getting, after 120 minutes in the store.

The Andesite Cardi (in heather gray)

I know, very predictable - my usual drapey look and gasp . . . GRAY! But I like it, I think. Anyway, I'm not sure why the sleeves are 3/4 length especially in the dead of winter, but I wear it anyway. But my best purchase ever at Anthro (which is currently hanging in my closet because it is even more weather inappropriate than the cardi) has to be this coat:

Eastern Flyaway Coat

I saw this lovely number all by it's lonesome on a sale rack jammed in with a bunch of hideously frumpy plaid coats. The original price of this coat was $228 (eye roll) and the sale price was scrawled in red pen on the price tag. After spending a few minutes staring at the illegible chicken scratch, I asked one of the harried salespeople and she said $49.95. Whaaaat??!! So I thought, this is worth trying on no? I noticed it was a size 0 - haven't done one of those in a while, but lo and behold, in the dressing room it fit (thank you Nathaniel for continuing to breastfeed)! So I am all excited and smug about my good find and take it up to the register. Imagine my disbelief when it scans in at $149.95. Um, noookay. So we both decided that it clearly said 49.95 in the red chicken scratch, but she couldn't even find it online because it was sold out so she calls the manager over who tells her to override it and sell it to me for 50 bucks! Yay, score, although I hope the chicken scratcher will not be penalized for forgetting that oh so important digit in front of the four. I am such a gleeful consumer, even as I'm writing this I am getting excited. Sigh. Now here's how I'd like to wear it (in Lotus Clouds world):

Replace model with me, on a romantic getaway aboard the Orient Express

In reality, I'll be wearing it pushing the baby in the stroller when it's a little warmer out, trying to look like a chic mom in Harvard Square, or if I'm lucky, maybe on one of my date nights. Last but not least, my best Christmas present from the hubster (that I picked out and bought online) is this lovely and slouchy gray number at a very discounted rate ; ) It's my versatile purse/diaper/computer bag:

I don't actually use that long strap, but it's nice to know I have the option if need be.

You'd think I'd be Anthro'ed out after this, no? You no me better than that - although one of my New Year's resolutions is to practice fiscal restraint (not that I have a whole lot of choice in that area).

My most important project thus far: Nathaniel

I started this blog really as a creative outlet - a way for me to dream, imagine, vent, procrastinate and share with my friends and family both near and far. Also, Tiffany suggested that I start a journal so I guess here is my version. And I won't tell you how addicted to blogs I am - I have no idea who these people are, but I just want to be their bff. As most of you know, since moving to Cambridge, things have been a little rough for me- really for all of us. I've had very little time, energy or desire to be as creative as I want to be. Maybe I'll post some things I've made or been working on later when I have time . . . . I'm not always the best about calling, or even e-mailing, so unless you're on ichat all the time, I may not be in touch much, and I apologize for that. Stop by here and say hi or make fun of me when you get a chance!

Everything I've got is pretty much in this little guy. He's a handful, but so very worth it. To me, he is all the goodness in the world behind that easy, sweet, goofy grin and those large, hopeful and trusting eyes.

Many of you keep up with Nathaniel's goings-ons on Picasa Web (not always by choice, I know), but here's one of him in action - doing his "injured soldier" crawl (please excuse my inane chatter). I really want to phase out this posting on YouTube thing, because I feel icky about him being out there, but it's the easiest way tech-wise for my mother to see her grandson and Eli says no one will watch it. . . . Posting it on the blog takes forever, but I will figure it out one day.

Nathaniel Crawling

As some of you know, we don't have the most ideal kitchen set-up here - the spices were being kept at ground level, but they have since been stored in a clementines crate on an Odwalla shelf (don't ask) we use to store pots and pans. We thought we'd do this before he figured out how to unscrew the jar of cayenne pepper . . . .

Before: easy access for one and all - all gone!




After: I know, isn't this fascinating??!!

Aah, the incredibly intriguing and enigmatic life I lead. Who knew? I know this will be a daily stop for you on the www and a must-read. I leave you for now with this prayer for our new president. It moved me to tears. It also makes me want to take a trip up to New Hampshire and listen to a sermon. I have never been moved to attend church . . . .

A Prayer for the Nation and Our Next President, Barack Obama

By The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire

Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin,

but first, please join me in pausing for a

moment, to ask God's blessing upon our nation and

our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you willŠ

Bless us with tears - for a world in which over a

billion people exist on less than a dollar a day,

where young women from many lands are beaten and

raped for wanting an education, and thousands die

daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger - at discrimination, at home

and abroad, against refugees and immigrants,

women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual

and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort - at the easy,

simplistic "answers" we've preferred to hear from

our politicians, instead of the truth, about

ourselves and the world, which we need to face if

we are going to rise to the challenges of the

future.

Bless us with patience - and the knowledge that

none of what ails us will be "fixed" anytime

soon, and the understanding that our new

president is a human being, not a messiah.

Bless us with humility - open to understanding

that our own needs must always be balanced with

those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance -

replacing it with a genuine respect and warm

embrace of our differences, and an understanding

that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity -

remembering that every religion's God judges us

by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the

human community, whether across town or across

the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child

Barack, as he assumes the office of President of

the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him

with Lincoln's reconciling leadership style,

President Kennedy's ability to enlist our best

efforts, and Dr. King's dream of a nation for ALL

the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State

needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be

inspired and motivated to make the personal and

common sacrifices necessary to facing the

challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own

words that under his leadership, there will be

neither red nor blue states, but the United

States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a

minority, drawing on that experience of

discrimination, that he might seek to change the

lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and

privacy, and help him remember that even though

he is president, a father only gets one shot at

his daughters' childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask

too much of our presidents, and we're asking FAR

too much of this one. We know the risk he and his

wife are taking for all of us, and we implore

you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold

him in the palm of your hand - that he might do

the work we have called him to do, that he might

find joy in this impossible calling, and that in

the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place

of integrity, prosperity and peace. AMEN.